A Message To My "Friends"...

Haha, I bet you guys saw the quotations around "friends" and thought I was gonna say mean things! Seriously I have great friends, but I'll get around to the why's later.
Earlier last week, I asked Isabella if she remember who the new president is, and she replied Brok-Amama! She doesn't quite have his name down yet, but she's getting there. We then proceeded to have a serious conversation about Martin Luther King, Jr. I guess her teachers already told them about him in school, so all I had to do was fill in some details. We also had the "people with different skin color" talk, and it was actually harder to get her to stay focused on the conversation than it was to get her to understand what I meant. I guess I have to accept that she's already two steps ahead of me.
Later last week, we went to Grizzly's with Kevin & April, and Isabella and Aiden raised holy hell--but in a happy good way, so we all had fun.
Quick note: This past week, I posted 2 pages of Golden Brown, little present from me-to-you.
We headed to Devils Lake on Friday, had birthday Rhubarb pie, and just chilled at my dad's that night. For those who don't know, my dad has the best living room to just chill out in during the evening. It has tons of chairs all sourrounding a tv, and if you get tired (and you will if you stay in the room for longer than 10 minutes), nobody cares if you take a little nap or watch a movie.
On Saturday I got together with Derek and Kevin to practice in Derek's garage. There's really no way to sugarcoat it, so I'll just say the whole practice was a mess. We never have a permanent place to play, the places we do play aren't heated, and there's 90 miles that affect our communication skills.
Later on, in a fit of unusual clarity and lucidity, I managed to order 7 subs from subway and got the whole order right! Ask Karissa, I fuck up simple orders from McDonald's, so this was truly an accomplishment.
We met April/Kevin/Tab/Derek at the Paddlewheel Lounge that night, where I got a death balloon and badly humored birthday cards, right up my alley. Oh, and there were also silly hats involved. No, you fuckers, not the hats I usually wear, these were official National Doug Day party visors, which I still have and Isabella has taken a liking to. Later, after we officially took over the jukebox, Tab brought out the cake she made for me. It was a zombie skull on top of dirt (oreo crumbs), it said "Happy Death Day Doug" . The eyes were marachino cherries set into marshmallows and the teeth were made of chicklets. The cake itself was red marble (right?) and when I made the first sacrificial incision, strawberry(?) jam oozed out the top. I got so excited I went Borneo on it and ate the top of his head with my hands.
I was VERY appreciative that Tab went to so much effort with my cake, and it turned out awesome, tasted even better. Unfortunately, we didn't get any pics on our camera, so if you want to see how it all turned out, you'll have to wait for April or Tab to post their shots.
The whole party was great, and I would have loved to have gone on longer with it, but I had 3 shots too many and made friends with a toilet. I was a bit groggy/headachey/nauseous for most of Sunday, but it was totally worth it. For those of you who would have liked to come but couldn't make it, we took a shot in your honor.
See? This is why I make such a big deal about my birthday. It gets everyone else excited, and we end up having a big ol' shindig over me. Just a heads up, Tab--how are you at naked-lady cake? Just a thought.
So the message to my "friends" is simply thanks for giving me a fun birthday and putting up with me going off the deep end with my megalomaniacal, super undeniable, wonderful, fantastical self. I was humbly honored.

Instrument Mutation and Tons of Bad Movie...ation.

I decided a couple weeks ago to turn my balalaika project into a guitar. I'd still like to have a babalaika, I just got curious to see if I could do it. Originally, I used much more basic hardware, but I decided to cheat a little to do the conversion and use some parts from an old guitar of mine. Yeah, you try making a headstock with a jigsaw. It's hard. I rigged the headstock so it pinches the nut (haha!) against the neck. The strings are too close together and not very evenly spaced, but I'll be damned if they don't keep their tune, at least for a day, anyway. In the video (which you may have to turn up the volume to hear), you'll see I had to use the tail-piece from the parts-guitar, too.

I got the comic out a little late on Friday, but it's technically on time, so quit whining. I may need to take next week off the comic, due to schoolwork. I'm going to have a project due soon. I'll let everyone know by Monday.

We were going to see the St Patrick's Day parade today, but I think we're gonna skip it and take Isabella to Horton Hears a Who instead. This is our second attempt at taking her to a movie, hopefully it works out better than the first one. If it does, I'll stick it in my reviews.

I just found out Type O Negative might be playing Fargo in June, and I don't know if I can take the time off to go! Karissa and I are taking our SD vacation the week before, and it's not that easy for me to take a bunch of time off one week then another day the next.

What Am I Watching?

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?- Wow, the title says it all. A beatnik visits a fortune teller and, after receiving some bad news, becomes hypnotized by her dancer sister into becoming a killer. It takes forever to get to any good parts, the dancing must have been choreographed by a mentally handicapped person, and there are no zombies, just hypnotized idiots. I was very pissed that the guy gets shot at the end and lives. There are some pretty creepy clown & carnival images, but it doesn't save the movie.

Rat Pfink a Boo Boo- Wow. And I thought Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter was bad. This one and the Incredibly Strange Creatures movie above were both made by Ray Dennis Steckler, who also directed Wild Guitar. Remember Wild Guitar? This guy could make millions off of novelty shitty flicks. Rat Pfink started out as a serious suspense thriller involving a musician who girlfriend gets kidnapped by a gang of unrulies. Steckler realized halfway through filming that he had nothing good, so he went put in the second half, in which the musician and his buddy disappear into the bedroom only to come out as superheroes Rat Pfink and Boo Boo! Dressed in really crappy homemade costumes, and speaking in silly voices, Rat Pfink and Boo Boo find the kidnappers and take them on Adam West-style. They win, and afterward there is a parade held in their honor as superheroes. Jason, this could be a winner, so you need to see it ASAP. Making the title sequence for te movie, someone fucked up and forgot how to spell AND--that's why it's Rat Pfink a Boo Boo. "...And remember, Boo Boo, we had one weakness...bullets."

The Devil's Messenger- Satan hands out assignments to a suicide victim who wants a fair "hearing". Lon Chaney is a bit of a 'nice guy' for his role as Satan, but that adds a bit of a sinister element to his character as he delivers bad news with a smile on his face. The tales this suicide victim is involved in are a little twisted.

Stangeland- I had always wanted to see this movie, and for some reason didn't. Dee Snider plays a sadistic internet predator named Capt. Howdy who lures his victims to his house, then slowly tortures them to death. Kinda like Buffalo Bill with an internet connection. He kidnaps a detective's daughter, is caught and put in a mental institution for 4 years, and comes out looking like a high school guidance counselor. The townsfolk didn't forget what he did, however, and a group of vigilantes (led by Robert Englund) who think he's responsible for another teen's disappearance kidnap him and hang him from a tree. Capt. Howdy (at this point Carleton Hendricks) is left for dead, but a breaking tree branch spares him. Being strung up and going without his meds has brought Capt. Howdy back, and he exacts revenge on the people who had condemned him before the detective steps in. I like Dee Snider, but a little of him goes a looong way. The movie was stylized but acting was over the top, there was no Linda Cardellini boob shots unless accompanied by bondage and torture, and the soundtrack featured quite a few bands I don't care for. So everything about the movie was bittersweet. Triva: Where does the name Capt. Howdy come from?

The Last Man On Earth- A plague sweeps the earth, killing everyone and turning them into vampire zombies. One man (Vincent Price) seems to be immune and spends his time killing and disposing of the vampires during the day, and hiding out in his house at night. He keeps his electricity going via generator (pretty smart detail to have remembered, I think), and gets his fuel from an abandoned truck down the road. He finds out that there were survivors of the plague who keep themselves from turning by injecting themselves with a temporary rememdy that keeps the disease at bay. Unfortunately, he's killed quite a few of these 'survivors' and has become known as a terrible legend to them. Before he can reach them with the idea of using his own blood to save them, they find out where he lives. This was the first movie made based on the book by Richard Matheson. It was much better than I anticipated, and I liked the concept of vampires and disease moving from the symbolic realm and becoming completely literal. I also liked Price's acting throughout--his facial gestures and movements during tragic moments were very convincing.

Teenagers From Outer Space- The title is misleading. I was expecting a lot more teenaged type antics and a campy movie. What I got was an "serious" movie about aliens checking earth for suitable environments for the gargons, and one black sheep challenging them and their coldness toward alien humanity. He believes their race should be more compassionate and that they should not eradicate intelligent human life. It's a little confusing, very cheesy, and the gargons are fucking lobsters, come on with this movie! And the alien's name is Derek. Really? No offense to our Derek, that name for a human is fine. But an alien named Derek seems...stupid. Kind of like an alien named Doug.

Battle of the Worlds- A stray asteroid is on a collision course with earth. As probes are sent to investigate possibilities of blowing it up, flying saucers come out and shoot at them. A brilliant but for-some-reason-disgraced scientist/crusty curmudgeon tries warning them that there is more to the "asteroid" (now called The Outsider) than meets the eye. The acting isn't too terribly bad, special effects are silly but forgivable for the time, and it's yet another movie with its own theme song!!

Good Movies Found Here, But a Title is Lost

Here's the second teaser shot from the 8-page comic. It's all drawn, just needs a few words. If you guys liked the Lighthouse comic from last year, then I think you'll enjoy this one. Speaking of which, I posted a new page of Last Night for everyone to read. There will be one more page after this one (which I might post early), then the big 8-pager.

Last weekend we finally made it to the River Cinema in East Grand Forks. I was very impressed with the whole set-up, not to mention that you get your ticket and concessions in one spot. We only used up a third of my gift certificate I got from Christmas, so we get to get a couple more times, as well. The owner himself was there to take our tickets, which was weird, but cool that an owner would actually devote himself that much to his business as to place himself in the position to be able to interact the most with patrons. Seemed like a nice guy, too. I'm posting about the movie itself below, so hold your horses.

School starts for me soon, I'm getting a little nervous about starting everything back up again.

I got out my beer kit over a week ago and got it prepared. All I had to do was mix some stuff into boiling water and try not to get myself all sticky with beer mix & honey. Then I waited while it fermented in its keg. Just yesterday I bottled it, now I resume waiting. If all goes well, it should be ready by my birthday.

What Am I Watching?

Night of the Living Dead 3D- Judging by the IMDB threads, it's apparent that people don't really know what a remake is. This movie is NOT a remake. I won't state it again. It was fucking cool, though. All the characters' names from the original are used, but the similarity pretty much ends there. Barbara and Johnny are trying to find a cemetery where an uncle's funeral is being held. They find the cemetery, but no people. While looking, they are attacked by zombies. Barb runs away and somehow stumbles upon a funeral home. The funeral home is quite obviously crawling with animated corpses, and she is saved just in time by its owner, Gerald Tovar, Jr. (Sid Haig!). She takes off again, and is saved this time at night by a guy on a motorcycle who takes her to a farmhouse whose occupants run a huge pot farm and are reluctant to call police, even after they find her wild sory of zombies to be true. The original Night of the Living Dead is playing on the tv before the cable goes out. Tovar eventually shows up at the house and admits his involvement with the dead coming back to life. This movie was made with some great ideas and should be looked at as a tribute to Romero, if anything. By the way, the version I watched was 2D. And not to worry: This movie was officially monitored by the ARCA (American Re-animated Corpse Association), who can assure us that no zombies were harmed in the making of this film.

Death Race 2000- This was an odd movie. Shown on TCM Underground, it shows us a world of the "near future" with a president who controls the media and religion and wholeheartedly endorses an unltraviolent transcontinental race where the racers can earn points by hitting pedestrians. The movie starts off with the pope sying "Oh, great American multitudes, and sports fans everywhere..." Hmm...oddly prophetic, huh? There racers: Calamity Jane (neo cowgirl), Matilda the Hun (neoclassical Nazi), Nero the Hero (neo Roman), Machine Gun Joe (neo mobster, aka Sylvester Stallone), and Frankenstein (neo...Frankenstein...he's had limbs replaced). As far as the pedestrians are concerned, kids and elderly earn the most points. Strangely enough, many apparently forget a race is on and wander about the streets, giving the drivers plenty of targets. One hospital along the race route even put its elderly out in the middle of the road as a method of euthenasia. The President of the "United Provinces of America" (so we became Canada, then?) seems to be an almost mythical figure who is quick to blame the French when racers begin getting killed off by an underground resistance trying to end the race once and for all. The drivers are all equipped with navigators of opposite sex who not only navigate and perform regular maintenance on the vehicles, but also help release tension in the racers sexually during their pitstops. What a job! The commander of the Resistance is Thomasina Paine. Big surprise there. The ending is a little silly and wraps things up in a neat little package. But the movie overall was very good.

Sweeney Todd- This is the 2007 versio with Johnny Depp--our very first movie at the River Cinema. I will say that I HATE musicals. I refuse to watch them. I saw West Side story once while playing Mushroomhead, and that was as close as I ever came to enjoying a musical, and I had to be drunk to do it. But this was a kickass movie. I mean, it's a Tim Burton movie. Even his musicals are dark and creepy. Plus I love the story of Sweeney Todd. Basically a barber is falsely imprisoned by a judge who wants his wife. 15 years later, he returns from jail to find that his wife is gone and daughter adopted by the judge who put him away. He swears revenge and broods in a way that only Johnny Depp can seem to do. He takes up shop above a woman who sells disgusting meat pies, and they eventually combine their skills and begin killing people, cutting them up, and putting them in the pies, which become the best meat pies in London. The mechanical barber chair is a nod back to a 1936 version directed by George King and starring Tod Slaughter (I posted about this movie a few posts back), and worked very well in this version, as did the sickening thud of the bodies as they tumbled head-first down three stories to the floor of the cellar. The bright red blood was forgivable, given the theatrical aspect of this story. This version ties as my favorite, the other being a 2006 miniseries put out on the BBC that was NOT a musical and was perhaps a more accurate portrait of 19th century London.

Rollerball- Nope, it's not the dorky 2002 version with Rebecca Romijn & LL Cool J, sorry. This one is the original, from 1975 with James Caan. Again, it's the future, and corporations rule the earth. Rollerball is a national pasttime, where virtually anything goes as long as rollerskating men can get a lead ball into a bucket. Jonathan (Caan) is the game's oldest player, and is being pressured to retire by the corporation running it. There is a heavy notion of history being revised and rewritten, and books are "edited" on computer. Again, oddly prophetic, given our country's sense of history (ask how many people think Gone With the Wind was an accurate depiction of the South).

Desperate Souls- Jason, you owe me an apology for making the assumption that this wins the title. Yes, it sucked, but it was bland and hard to follow. Some orphans esacpe their abusive orphanage and use a book to release some kind of evil power. Why? Who knows? Who are they unleashing it on? Apparently, themselves. They all become zombified and attack a group of camping teens. One orphan was left alive, and he's trying to protect people from the zombified ones, which he killed in the first place...This synopsis is just annoying. Jas, the title's revoked. This movie had no "oh-my-Doug-this-is-a-really-horrible-movie" aspect to it, it was just plain annoying. Ankle-Biters had it. Zombie Lake had it. This movie does not.

What's Up, Tigerlily?- Originally a Japanese spy film, Woody Allen bought the rights to this film, took the Japanese audio out, put in English--except he wrote a completely different script, in which the spies are fighting over a secret recipe to really good egg salad. Kung Pow: Enter the Fist must have got their idea from this one. It is funny as hell and I can't believe this movie doesn't get more play. I happened to catch this on accident on TCM.

Re-Animator- Med students conduct bizarre experiments involving reanimating the dead. There is a lot of dark humor in this movie that you kind of have to watch to know what I mean. The reanimated corpses seem almost superpowered, which is silly. There was surprisingly good evidence of bruising in some places, though. The bruise on one guy's head and the ligature marks on a girl's throat after she was strangled are remarkably accurately done. The movie ended on a grim/uplifting note (is that possible? Of course!), and what happened to the main character, Herbert West, is up in the air until 2003.