VAGINA DENTATA!! VAGINA DENTATA!!!
Weekend is here!
My monthly Guitar World came today with a preview of the new Metallica album, and I'm way excited for it. It's not until September, but they've got a website up called Mission Metallica, complete with a teaser that showcases just a taste of their new stuff. Kevin & Derek, from the 30 seconds or so I've heard so far, I think you can finally quit your bitching and whining about how much you think new Metallica sucks and enjoy their music again. They've gone back up to E tuning again, there are solos in the songs, and what little I heard is fast and heavy as shit.
New page of Golden Brown is up, go check it out. I really enjoyed doing this page because I got to switch a few characters around this time.
What am I Watching?
Otis- I often have to force Karissa to watch movies with me. At least this time she was appreciative. This movie about an icky pizza delivery guy who moonlights as a psycho who kidnaps teenage girls and reenacts a prom night experience with them before killing them came out just this year--in fact, I got it right out of Fangoria. I was very surprised by how good the acting was in this movie. At times the dialogue got too back-and-forth (imagine watching 2 minutes of Gilmore Girls and trying not to commit suicide), but the characters all fit perfectly into their roles, especially Bostin Christopher (Otis). The best way to warm a brownie is by sitting on it. I have absolutely NO complaints about the smoothness of the acting, though, which is rare. There were disturbing parts, there were funny parts. The alternate ending was actually a little better than the original, in my opinon (who doesn't love a birthday party?)
The Apple-A musical couple are trying to make it in the tyrannical musical futuristic world of 1994. WHO FUCKING VOMITED UP THIS PIECE OF SHIT?!? Are you kidding me? Giant padded collars everywhere, glittery lipstick, Mr. Boogalow & Mr. Topps are really the Devil and God? I didn't realize until it was too late that this was a fucking stanky piece of green baby-shit musical in all the xanadu-x-10 glamour of the late 70's-early 80's, and on top of it all, it is a religious allegory! There's even hippies! This goes beyond Jesus Christ Superstar in its supreme silliness. This was at least as bad as Otis was good. I still can't get the taste of that magic (stinky) apple out of my mouth.
Teeth- Ultra-virgin's budding sexuality is hampered by the fact that her vagina has teeth. Well what did you expect? I thought it was a stretch when Dawn & her friends refused to watch a highly anticipated movie because it was rated R. But that's pretty much forgotten when her over-aggressive boyfriend gets his dick bitten off when he tries to rape her. Am I spoiling the surprise? Nope. See a dismembered penis on the ground, and you'll understand. I was disappointed that for all the obvious physical evidence of those teeth, we never get an actual look at the Vagina dentata. Oh well, keep watching and you'll see her stepbrother get some pseudoincestual action before the bad thing happens (again, not ruining the surprise, see it and understand). And the ending, though creepy, is gratifying.
My monthly Guitar World came today with a preview of the new Metallica album, and I'm way excited for it. It's not until September, but they've got a website up called Mission Metallica, complete with a teaser that showcases just a taste of their new stuff. Kevin & Derek, from the 30 seconds or so I've heard so far, I think you can finally quit your bitching and whining about how much you think new Metallica sucks and enjoy their music again. They've gone back up to E tuning again, there are solos in the songs, and what little I heard is fast and heavy as shit.
New page of Golden Brown is up, go check it out. I really enjoyed doing this page because I got to switch a few characters around this time.
What am I Watching?
Otis- I often have to force Karissa to watch movies with me. At least this time she was appreciative. This movie about an icky pizza delivery guy who moonlights as a psycho who kidnaps teenage girls and reenacts a prom night experience with them before killing them came out just this year--in fact, I got it right out of Fangoria. I was very surprised by how good the acting was in this movie. At times the dialogue got too back-and-forth (imagine watching 2 minutes of Gilmore Girls and trying not to commit suicide), but the characters all fit perfectly into their roles, especially Bostin Christopher (Otis). The best way to warm a brownie is by sitting on it. I have absolutely NO complaints about the smoothness of the acting, though, which is rare. There were disturbing parts, there were funny parts. The alternate ending was actually a little better than the original, in my opinon (who doesn't love a birthday party?)
The Apple-A musical couple are trying to make it in the tyrannical musical futuristic world of 1994. WHO FUCKING VOMITED UP THIS PIECE OF SHIT?!? Are you kidding me? Giant padded collars everywhere, glittery lipstick, Mr. Boogalow & Mr. Topps are really the Devil and God? I didn't realize until it was too late that this was a fucking stanky piece of green baby-shit musical in all the xanadu-x-10 glamour of the late 70's-early 80's, and on top of it all, it is a religious allegory! There's even hippies! This goes beyond Jesus Christ Superstar in its supreme silliness. This was at least as bad as Otis was good. I still can't get the taste of that magic (stinky) apple out of my mouth.
Teeth- Ultra-virgin's budding sexuality is hampered by the fact that her vagina has teeth. Well what did you expect? I thought it was a stretch when Dawn & her friends refused to watch a highly anticipated movie because it was rated R. But that's pretty much forgotten when her over-aggressive boyfriend gets his dick bitten off when he tries to rape her. Am I spoiling the surprise? Nope. See a dismembered penis on the ground, and you'll understand. I was disappointed that for all the obvious physical evidence of those teeth, we never get an actual look at the Vagina dentata. Oh well, keep watching and you'll see her stepbrother get some pseudoincestual action before the bad thing happens (again, not ruining the surprise, see it and understand). And the ending, though creepy, is gratifying.
posted by BoneDaddy at 8:24 PM
3 Comments:
Hahahaha!!! Too funny!
I'll give the first person who finds the funny sentence a slap on the butt.
ok you need to post something else so that the first thing I see on my screen is not the title of this post anymore. I keep thinking about a penis being bit off by a vagina and uggggggh gives me a creepy shiver yuck!
Imagine your ob/gyn screaming it at you with all the fingers on his hand missing and realizing that the legend is real!
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