Busy Weekends, and I'm Juggling Chainsaws, Devils, and Clowns...

It feels like I haven't had time to post much lately. I've been busy doing working on a little project which I hope is successful, but we'll see.
I have a new page of Golden Brown out on time this time! Last week my schedule went awry. This week I actually had it done early, for a change. I'm getting so anxious to finally wrap up this story (which I once predicted would be done by late summer last year, what the hell was I thinking?!). I have some ideas bouncing around in my head, one in particular that I'm trying to prepare for (hint: not a comedy). I still struggle with the duality of wanting to have someone else write, and wanting to micromanage and do it all myself, the latter being much harder for me.
This weekend Karissa's sister is graduating. She's having a Hawaiian themed open house, so we figured since I'm all about awesome lounge shirts I might as well show up in a Hawaiian shirt. Next weekend? Devil's Run! It should be fun, sounds like a pretty massive turnout of cars this year.
What the hell am I watching?
Chainsaw Sally- A librarian with a tragic past moonlights as a serial killer who lives with her goth-effeminate brother--it sounds like a John Waters flick, doesn't it? I do like the soundtrack, which features, among others, a couple Big John Bates songs. I was vaguely annoyed with the discussion about Batman's sexuality--the actually subject matter was fine, but Sally mouths her arguments in such a snide way that she sounds like she's trying to sound smart and bored. My favorite scene in the movie is when Sally takes home a local party-slut, chains her to a wall and pours acid through a funnel down the girl's throat. It must have been loaded with fiber, because it just went right through her. The movie ended well.
Devil's Nightmare-This movie is part of a 4-feature set I got a long time ago and never really watched. Unfortunately, the 4th dvd was all scratched up, so I didn't get to see it. The 1st dvd came with a cool, schlocky intro by a vampire chick and a whole bunch of nudity. On to the movie: Tourists representing each of the 7 deadly sins spend an evening in a castle previously owned by a man who had a pact with Satan. The beginning is very disturbing. A Nazi officer's wife dies in childbirth, and upon hearing that his child is a girl, he puts a knife through the baby. It's one of the few movies that they actually showed the scene instead of cutting away during the violent part. The rest of the movie is slow-paced and wouldn't be worth much except that it's interrupted every now and then with nudity and/or a sex scene. The cheap make-up and slow, deliberate movements of the succubus (oh yeah, there's a succubus in the movie) actually add to her creepy nature, one of the few positives in the movie. My kind of ending, though.
Kill, Baby...Kill- The ghost of a baron's daughter is to blame for mysterious deaths in a Transylvanian village--What the fuck?! Whoever was in charge of thinking of a good American title to this italian horror should have been shot. The trees were very Halloweeny in this movie which added to the moody and broody atmosphere. One thing I absolutely hate: When science is deemed "silly" in comparison to mysticism and sorcery. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Just like movies in which someone utters, "some things you just can't explain..." in relation to some miracle or magical occurrence. Yeah, it can't be explained by the person who instantly believes it to be magic. Duh.
Black Sheep- Genetic experimentation on a New Zealand sheep farm goes awry, creating mutated psychotic sheep. Bet you thought I was gonna talk about the Chris Farley movie, huh? I loved this movie! The humor wasn't much, but in certain moments, it couldn't have been placed more perfectly. In the beginning a deformed lamb is accidentally freed from a container marked for disposal, and proceeds to attack its liberator. In one scene, a sheep is stuck in the cab of an old truck with its driver barreling toward a cliff. The driver and other passengers are able to jump off, but the sheep is stuck in the driver seat, and can be seen "screaming" as the truck careens off the cliff. If only a sheep could say "oh shit!" The humanoid sheep and the human-sheep transformation/vaccine scenes were awesome--not the level of special effects I was expecting for this type of movie, but I was pleasantly surprised to see a monstrous, low-bleating two-legged sheep stomping towards me. Best scene in the movie? The owner of the farm, giving himself over to his sheep, strips down and bares himself as a scarifice (hah, sacrificial lamb joke?). One sheep walks right up and bites his wiener. And pulls. And from behind him, we see the wiener stretching about 3 times the length a wiener should stretch.
Kiss me, Kill Me- A witch sets her sights on a photographer and gives her as a gift a doll dressed in leather bondage garb. It's based on a comic strip done by Guido Crepox, of which I've only seen snippets. Good opening credits. Some nudity. Otherwise not much to contribute to cinema. The witch's name (and the original title of this movie) is Baba Yaga. Baba Yikes.
Reefer Madness- Original title is "Tell Your Children". Wholesome teenagers are lured and corrupted by the dope culture, leading ulitmately to vehicular manslaughter and an accidental shooting. The editing is terrible--people occasionally disappear and reappear in scenes, the audio cuts out. It is funny to watch, though. Anyone who thinks this film is useful in the war against drugs is an idiot, the fact that it's pure propaganda is obvious--also that the director either did NO research on the effects of "Marihuana" or else ignored the research he had (like pot giving you violent tendencies and incurable insanity). Anyone who actually resembles the character of Ralph Wiley in this movie should be warned that their pot is probably laced wth PCP.
Drive Thru- The mascot for Hella Burger, Horny the Clown is killing teenagers. I'm gonna go ahead and spoil things a little. The clown is really the ghost of a kid who's dad started the Hella Burger empire. He was tormented by his high school classmates and on his 18th birthday was accidentally killed in a restaurant fire started by said classmates. Fast forward a few years, the kid's back as a clown killing the children of these former classmates. The stereotypes are really annoying and shallow. Seriously, there is NOTHING more to the characters than the various clicks they represent: Wiggers, preps, goth kids, parents who "sold out" and became Republican...which leads me to the next annoying thing. The main character is an outsider type who doesnt eat meat and thinks her ex-hippie parents are big hippocrytes. She has political discussions with them, quick-witted politi-banter. You people know how I feel about teenagers having quick and witty banter. It fucking annoying, and it's a very untrue stereotype. Am I supposed to believe that this punky bitch watches Kieth Obermann? She more than likely has on of those shirts from Hot Topic that states "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same", conveniently ignoring the ironic fact that there are thousands of these shirts made and that they represent people who live their lifestyles according to certain fashions just like everybody else--obviously nothing annoys me more than people who think they're so different because they listen to moody music and wear dark clothes. I did it, too, but I never thought that set m apart from others. It was more or less the duct tape trench coat that did that. Anyway, one golden nugget in this greasy box was a bit part played by Morgan Spurlock (SuperSize Me). It's one of the only acting roles he's done, and he did an awesome job! I was disappointed he wasn't seen in the movie more.