My Little Musical Evolution

It's been about 2 years ago this week since I started playing in front of people again.  I remember that night, finally making the decision to go to Mike's Pizza and play their Open Mic night, not having done anything like that in almost 10 years.
I remember when it was finally my turn to come up, my hands went numb because I was so nervous (great thing to happen to a fucking guitarist!)  My audience was half softball players who were NOT there to hear music, half Mike's regulars.  I started out with Johnny Cash's "Thirteen", telling everyone beforehand that if they didn't like what they heard to go fuck themselves, because I didn't owe them anything.
I also played St James Infirmary Blues, a Misfits song (forgot which), and House of the Rising Sun.  Afterward, I remember feeling better than I had in a long time, like I went though a huge change.  A bunch of punks (The Boys) walked up to me and told me they loved that I did a Misfits song, and they continued to come to Mike's to hear me play for months afterward.
That night after the bar closed, I went down to the river and sat there for a while, proud of myself that I finally got over the fears I had, finally saying "fuck it!  Who cares if I suck ass, I gotta do this!".
I wouldn't say that I've been unhappy the 9 years previous at all.  But I feel more like myself these past 2 years than ever.  I fucking love being in a band that sounds like we do.  I love making the music we make.
I have to say, even though Karissa and I aren't together, I respect the hell out of her for being as supportive as she's been of me going out to bars and playing music all night, she helped give me that push I needed to do it.  It's been a fucked up 2 years, but musically it's so far been the best 2 years of my life.