Stinky Feet, Our First Delicious Turkey, and What's With All These Zombie Movies?!

It's just some feet.

I've noticed that I've been watching an awful lot of zombie movies lately. It's probably a psychological thing. Zombies and vampires play on our fears of disease and whatnot, and between me and my family/friends we've all had massive head colds, flu, pink eye, and ear infections.

Wanna know what I've been watching again? I got 3 more movies for ya:

Stink of Flesh: Life in a zombie-infested world. A Mexican dude (though you can't tell he is until is says he is) wanders around, looking for food and zombies to kill. He practices martial arts, carries a hammer and spikes to use on the zombies, and considers killing them a 'workout'. He comes upon a home out in a secluded-but-barren area, and shacks up with a couple there. He performs nightly sexual acts on the wife while the husband sits three feet away, looking on. The wife's freaky sister comes out at some point during these trysts and slaps him in the ass with one of those plastic hotwheels race track thingies. She has a twin sister attached to her stomach, visible only as a nasty looking head, though she still manages to find short-lived (literally) love in this movie. There is even a naked zombie chick chained up in a shed for the husband to look at, and at one point he rapes her.

Yeah, I'm describing a real movie here. You may have to see it to believe this one.

Blacula: Can you believe I've gone all this time without seeing Blacula?? African prince Mamuwalde and his wife visit "Count" Dracula around 1780 to discuss the end of slave trade in his land. Dracula is having none of that, and bites Mamuwalde. Mamuwalde is officially cursed with the name Blacula (corny), and imprisoned in a coffin until present day (1972), where it is bought by interior decorators for who-really-gives-a-shit. Blacula is released form his coffin, enjoys some night life, sees a woman he swears is the reincarnation of his wife, and makes her his vampire bride. She's killed, he goes out into the sun, and...at some point there's a sequel I haven't seen, so somehow he survives. It was a crappy movie, but seems like one that needed to be done back then, at least so it was out of the way.

Zombie Night: A couple of graverobbers (one of them Ron Jeremy) steal an amulet from a corpse, unleashing a horde of zombie. The victim of the theft appears to be a vampire, though I don't think that's ever comfirmed. He is balding horribly. Typical stupid teenagers find a cabin once used for a horror movie (apparently a shitty one) and want to party in it. Two go off to have sex. They haven't really got down to any partying before some shit starts happening. The couple is taking an impossibly looooooooooooong time getting around to sex--so long, in fact, that they don't fuck and are instead interupted by the vampire/zombie/amulet wearing/baldy and scream and run. Ron Jeremy and the other grave robber (who must play the part of "Ron Jeremy's cock" in the old porns arrive and help fend off the zombies. Arguing between the graverobbers and teens, more zombie stuff, we find out Ron Jeremy took the amulet (now called a medallion), more zombie action, the chick smashes the medallion, vampire/zombie/medallion wearing/baldy is destroyed. Everyone but the quarterback jock (everyone knows the quarterback's the smartest on the team) and the tough blonde-but-not-too-hot chick dies. That is all.

This year, we decided to do Thanksgiving at home instead of going to parents' houses. Karissa made her very first turkey, and it was awesome. It was my first time carving, and I butchered it some, but we got a whole lot of meat off it, so I think I did fair enough. After Isabella and I got one illness/infection after another and finally got better, Karissa caught a flu. She wasn't sure she'd be up for making turkey. Despite my suggesting we could do it later in the weekend, or even skip it completely (you don't want me making dinner, I've tried and FAILED in the past), she toughed it out. Some stuff was store-bought, but the turkey and mashed potatoes were all homemade. We still have leftovers, and they're still yummy. After dinner, we went to Bee Movie, which turned out badly. Isabella got bored halfway through and decided it was more fun to run around outside of the theater. The movie was boring anyway, I don't really blame her for getting antsy.

Last, but not least, I got the final page of Sweet Hell up on Saturday. It's a little late, but I'm finally done with that story and can move on to my other ones. I have a couple stories started, it's a matter of finishing them while working on my big 8-page story. Hopefully I can go back to posting a page a week, but with three more of these stories, it could take a while before we see Golden Brown again.